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Idle Hands

by Sleepy Jean

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1.
Moonshine 02:45
Before love had found me, I let moonshine surround me Draped in the pearls of her ebony glow Spent my days bathed in darkness My own secret fortress I was so happy, only heaven would know Our time was borrowed I knew someday sorrow Would colour our friendship blue Now I wake with the morning Greet the sun that surrounds me I'm wrapped in my dreams of that shining moon
2.
Hungry 02:33
Hungry - you're so hungry Won't you come eat until you're full? I'm so tired I've been wired - to give you all the things that I should keep I'm so sore I'm salted, I'm cured - you cling with ease, how I wish you'd leave But you're hungry - you're so hungry Come eat until you're full I'm so weak Heavy arms always reach - towards the light, I know it's not for me I'm battered and run Fried right down to the crumb - if you say please, I'll give you my last piece Hungry - show me your teeth I'll be yours until you're full I'll be yours until you're full I'll be yours until you're full
3.
Down, down by the ocean side There's a willow who weeps for me She saw my love go cast his life To the waves that hold tight like the weeds Their violet tongues, they swept the shore They swallowed his body whole And while the wind, she screams for more I wait for the tide to unfold My love, he knew, someday, somehow I'd bring his body home Even if I had to lay me down Beside his bag of bones Down, down by the oceanside There's a willow who weeps for me She saw me wipe my tear dimmed eyes And follow my love to the sea And follow my love to the sea And follow my love to the sea
4.
Downer 02:07
I saw how you were drawn To the kind effervescent beings That live outside the lines we like to draw to assign meaning So I slipped out of my body Went to the edges of my being I didn't try to trim the hedge or to tidy up the leaves and - I wondered if you saw me now I'm at the outer limit How much longer can I hold out? Is there a line where I can finish? I guess I never really understood it I never gave a second glance The only question in my heart was how to hold happiness in my hands Not to spread myself so much thinner The thoughts that spiral with no answer Don't want attention as a quitter so I became a great romancer I wondered if you saw me now I'm at the outer limit How much longer can I hold out? Is there a line where I can finish? Don't really wanna let you down And I don't wanna be a downer Maybe it's better to drown Then to stay afloat and flounder Went and let you down I don't wanna be a downer Maybe it's better to drown Then to stay afloat and flounder
5.
Smaller 03:11
Hear the whippoorwills' call Light drips down the wall I've stuttered, I've stalled - for time There's this fine line It's divisive, it's kind I'd started to find my pace but now I walk Can I fold myself in two? Would it help me not feel blue? Fold myself in two? I wanna feel smaller Wanna feel smaller Wanna feel small, small Words are bitter on my tongue and I keep loosening my laces I'll carry water to your dawn Till I trip and smack my faces Can I fold myself in two? Would it help me not feel blue? Fold myself in two? I wanna feel smaller Wanna feel smaller Wanna feel small, small If I fold myself in two? Would it help me not feel blue? Fold myself in two? I wanna feel smaller Wanna feel smaller Wanna feel small, small
6.
I don't belong in your arms Like a fish that's been drawn from the sea Restless through the air, death at my feet Bound to cool in the hands of a maker that I won't meet I don't belong in your arms - no, no, not me I don't belong in a home There are pictures in frames held with three Carbon copies of dreams, two stay while one leaves With my nose to the pane, there's a pain of which I can't speak I don't belong in a home - no, no, not me I don't belong to myself I'm a shelved collection of these Thoughts that weight on my chest, they buckle my knees If we're all built to break - Guess that makes me defunct machinery I don't belong to myself - no, no, not me Not me Not me Not me
7.
How many times shall we sing the same song? Gums bruised by the swallows, the blood Your subtle skin dig, I don't feel your pin's prick Watch you pick parts of me from your nails How many blows am I required to take? You blaze trails in a rage, mine confusion No forgiveness you'll find, in my heart or my mind I guess I'm just not as you knew How's it all gonna end? I'm reminded of how self important the vows We spoke under threat compromise Papers sealed and unsigned, we walked through the pines Towards a future I'd find without you I sing in my sleep, jagged bottle filled dreams Salt and vinegar chip cuts line my tongue But the contract can't bind, I won't love like I'm blind Ignorance feigned is fine for tonight How's it all gonna end? May you live as you've lied Paper lining your skies I won't pretend to admire you

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released July 16, 2021

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Sleepy Jean St. Catharines, Ontario

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